Jokes of the Day

WITHOUT BIAS Judge to the court, at the start of a case: "I have to declare an interest in this case. Last week, the plaintiff sent me a check for $10,000 to find in his favor. Two days later, I received $20,000 from the defendant to find in his favor. I have therefore sent $10,000 back to the defendant and can try the case without bias."    WHAT MEN ARE Men Are Like... Men are like..... Placemats. They only show up when there's food on the table. Men are like..... Mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion. Men are like..... Bike helmets. Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly. Men are like..... Government bonds. They take so long to mature. Men are like..... Lava lamps. Fun to look at, but not all that bright. Men are like..... Bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don't generate much interest.